A day in the life of the Third Child
by legacyZero
Summary: A view of Shinji's day within a hour to hour update. Witty comments are included!


Disclaimer: I don't own it, neither do you. Simple as that.

Author's prenotes: This will be my first time doing a parody so go easy and tell me what you think of this. I did it in a day so it may be a bit rushed.(glances at clock.) So hopefully you will enjoy this! It will one shot, but if it is requested to continue, I will make the Asuka and Rei version of this.Also note that, character bashing (Asuka) is purely unintentional and is for humor only. Same goes to the OCC Shinji. Now enjoy!!    

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**A day in the life of the Third Child(as told by the guru of Wimpy himself)**

6:30 am: Wake up. Getting ready for another wonderful day….

6:30 am, 50 seconds later:  Realize that I woke up 30 minutes earlier than usual. To hell with the 'don't worry, be happy' crap.

6.38 am:  Grumble and rant about it, while preparing breakfast. Silently, of course.

6.40 am:  Wonder if expired food stuffs can be eaten safety when cooked.

**Memo: Get rid of Misato's beer supply. Room for food is…..severely lacking.**

7.00 am: The red headed demon awakens. Joy. 

7.00am, 30 seconds later: Said demon is currently very _cranky_. Reason unknown.( I dunno but I think its _that time of the month_. Gah!)

7.00am, 46 seconds later: Serve breakfast to Asuka. Utilizing all purpose blank face. Use standard escape maneuver no.08 if things get out of hand . (Eg. Running away very fast.)

7.01am:  Skip breakfast. (Who cares about food?! my personal well being is at stake here!!)

7.13 am: Ready to go to school. (Great, I am actually glad to go to that hell hole. Early even!)

7.14 am: Get ready to rush….

7.14 am, 5 seconds later: 4….5……GO!!!!! Demon girl screams, but I will survive.

7.35 am: Arrive at school. Whoopee.

7.40 am: Enters class. It is empty….wait ,the ice queen there. Damn.

8.00 am: Class begins. The old boredom machine enters, do stupid 'rise, bow and sit.' Routine.  Red head not yet in sight. Thank god.

8.05 am: Demon enters. Old guy said, " Buckets, out, now. One must be one with the force to attain inner peace." Or so I heard. Nah, maybe not. But as long she out there, I'm a happy man. (Asuka is currently planning revenge right about now. I have until lunch break to enjoy my time left. Not that I care, mind you.)

8.15 am: …..must stay awake…..must stay awake…noooooooo!!!!! ( The Sensei somehow activated his boredom inducing mechanism in his voice…..wait, it IS his voice!!!)

8.20 am: Asuka…kill me now!!! I love you! (What the hell am I saying!?)

9.30 am: Resistance is futile! Join the boredom side of the force and we shall rule the galaxy together! MUHAHAHA!!!! (I am really losing it. And yes, the guy's THAT powerful.)

10.00 am: Zzz…ice cream....Zzz…Zzz…..whaat? An angel attack? YES!! I'M SAVED!!!

10.45 am: Angel…..tentacles….squishy……you get the point.

**Memo: Shushi's definitely out of tonight's menu.**

11.00am: Things are too horrible and disgusting to describe, but I am certain that someone's gonna pay dearly for messing up Unit-01's brand new paint job.

1.00 pm: Stuck in an ejected entry plug in god knows where. Currently trying to force the hatch to open. ( I breath air, not LCL. Understand? Good.) 

**Memo: Ask whether if they could add air fresheners into the LCL. It stinks. Big time.**

3.00 pm: Tied down, buck-naked, with various sharp and pointy objects around me and the only thing the good doctor says is " Just relax." ( Yeah right, easy for you to say. Relaxation, my ass.)

4.00 pm: Finally released from the observation room. ( I have a sinking feeling on _why _they  call it the 'observation room'.)

4.15 pm: Rei comes along. A staring match is conducted. I'm losing, of course. (Resistance is futile, in any case.)

4.30 pm: Misato comes along with an irritated Asuka. I follow. (Great, now I am reduced to the wimpy mindless follower….)

5.30 pm: Never trust Misato's direction skills, even if your life depended on it. ( I should know, cause I followed her aimlessly for an hour.)  

7.00 pm: Finally got home. Time to cook.

**Memo: Tonight's and every other day's menu: Instant Cup Ramen! Supplied regularly by Misato Katsugari.**

8.00 pm: Stare at ceiling. ( 1 crack……2 crack…..is that a camera!?)

10.00 pm: Time to sleep……

Conclusion: A normal day.

Author's blah blah** :**** Well, I hope you liked it. Credit goes to Zaybach1 for inspiring me with a his own parody. Btw, for those who are interested in Paths and Choices (I luv ya!!), here's a quick update about chapter 6's progress. I am halfway through, adding scenes and details here and there. I assure you that it will be worth the wait, it will be out hopefully in early November. Anyway, R&R plz! **


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